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I Said Yes to the Dress, But No to My Body
Regrets from the day I found my wedding dress
When my partner of 7 years at the time (a little over 8 now) proposed to me in October of 2020, I was thrilled. We’d been together a long time, and I had felt deeply early on that he is the person I want to keep waking up next to…indefinitely. He’s a very supportive, kind and loving partner. I feel very lucky to have found each other.
The first couple of days post-engagement, I was immensely happy. We basked in the heightened feelings of love and affection, shared the news with family and friends, and lightly discussed what we might want the actual event to look like.
Then it sank in… “looking good” and feeling good in my body on our wedding day. Dun dun dunnnn.
If you’ve followed some of my other writing about body image you may already be familiar with my journey. Long story short, I had a hormonal contraceptive IUD for a mere 6 months in 2019 (which was also a particularly stressful time in my life for other reasons), and in that 6 months I gained at least 30 pounds and experienced disordered moods. After getting the IUD taken out (good riddance), I was hoping all would go back to normal. Yet, nearly three years later I am still dealing with the consequences—mainly, hormonal imbalance, irregular menstrual cycles…
