Have you considered if you actually do want more than just the hugs? As I read through it almost sounds like convincing yourself and/or the world that it is just that — hugs. But maybe there’s more there, like feelings. Not saying that’s the case because only you know deep down how you feel, but could be worth exploring in some way with someone who is emotionally available. The hugs from behind thing definitely feels a bit weird in the workplace and makes me think there’s something more for him there too, especially if he only does that with you.